HEALING FOR MEN & PEOPLE SOCIALIZED MALE
When I started out, I did not intend to specialize in healing with men/people socialized male. Like most things that feel truest to me, it happened organically. I didn't know, at the beginning how many people who are socialized male were aching to shed some of that conditioning. Through that process, I learned things about my own capacity from that work. It created a positive feedback loop.
To this day, my most challenging client was a college-aged young man who had caused harm to multiple women throughout his life, through emotional and sexual trauma. It was via this client that I found a place in me that could expand to fit him into my understanding of healing. Before him, I didn’t know that space was there. It was work I had to do on myself, to be able to be someone who could hold both his capacity to harm, and his capacity to heal. The growth I had to do during my working relationship with this client made me a better practitioner - to everyone.
We need places to which we can turn both when harm is done to us, but also when we do harm - to ourselves, or other people, which we will. We need to be able to show up and deeply know that we will not be manipulated, shamed, or otherwise dehumanized. It is exactly this dehumanizing that keeps people in the cycle of both perpetuating, and accepting, harm. Most of our unhelpful responses come from fear - and by nature of the power dynamics between genders, races, abilities, etc., not everyone can be expected to hold space for both harm and healing; and for good reason. But this space can.
Together, we can understand how to settle the pieces of ego, guilt, and shame. We can learn how to come out from under the weight of dissociation, apathy, and anhedonia. The work of healing is in the work of getting lighter. The work of healing is in the work of letting go, and of settling down. You can feel better. And when you feel better, you will do better.
Curious? Send me a message, I'd love to explore more with you.